Maybe you’re inexperienced. Maybe, you’ve got body issues that are holding you down. Maybe you’ve had kids and feel as though you’ve lost your gist so to speak. Maybe your sex life’s been in a rut since forever so you don’t even know how to step out of the routine anymore. There are literally a gazillion possible reasons you’re not looking forward to sexy time with your man, and I’m here to tell you all of ‘em are stupid.
Not to be rude or anything, but they are! They’re perfectly understandable of course, common too, but, stupid. And I’ll tell you why. 99% of the things you worry about when it comes to your body he hasn’t thought of AT ALL. If it’s your lack of experience that’s getting you all tied up in knots, it’s nothing you can’t get out of the way with an honest heart to heart. And, so on…
My point it there are things you can do to feel more comfortable in bed! And they will definitely work – in the end of the day, it’s all probably just in your head! So, here’s what you gotta do:
1. Communicate Outside the Bed
Talking about sex is something lots of couples avoid but it doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, talking about it can do wonders for your sex life, and, your relationship. The more you talk about it the less shy you’ll be – that’s just how it goes. As a matter of fact – not only will you become less shy talking about it you’ll be less shy performing.
Yes, finding out what your partner likes, what are your best moves, what are his favorite positions and such will definitely help you step your game up. Letting him know what you like, what you don’t like, what you don’t do, where you draw the line will also help you feel more comfortable. Put all your sex cards out on the table – nice and upfront, that’s the way to go about it!
2. Speak up!
Communicate in the bed too! I’m not suggesting you go all porn star loud on him but getting a bit more vocal can’t hurt. It’s actually one of the biggest turn-ons for guys – hearing their girl moan and scream with pleasure.
However, not all girls are comfortable with being heard during sex, or don’t even feel the need to shriek and shout! Even if this is the case you should let out a little moan here and there, not only for him – but for yourself too. You know how they tell you to scream at the top of your lungs when you’re on a rollercoaster? Like, it helps you get in the moment and experience the rush and something like that. Well… I’m sure you got it.
3. Get into the Guy’s Mindset!
Right, you’re in bed, he’s about to have sex and he’s thinking either:
a) OMG her thighs are gigantic, dear lord help me get through the gruesome times ahead, all that cellulite, I can’t, no, please, stop!
b) Alright! I’m getting laid tonight!
What do you think? Obviously, you’d go for the B, which is, of course, the right answer. Okay, maybe not in those exact words, but I’ll bet you he’s thinking something along those lines. It’s like, he’s getting in that bed with you, he’s with you, he likes you – he’s so not thinking about all the little things you stress about!
So, to get more comfortable, you need to stop psyching yourself out and putting a magnifying glass over all of your flaws. We’re human, none of us are perfect. He’s not perfect either. Stop worrying about how you look, sound or feel to his touch – it’s the only way to get into it and be comfortable.
4. Get Sexy to Feel Sexy
If you’re feeling sexy you’ll definitely feel more comfortable. Realistically speaking – the main reason you restrain yourself from giving it your all is the fear of embarrassment. You’re shy, you’re not confident in yourself, your body, your moves.
However, put on some ultra-sexy lingerie that’ll make him drool all over you and you’ll see how you’ve got the upper hand! Seeing yourself as this sexy minx who’s got him all horny and hot can really help you be more confident in bed which translates directly into being more comfortable as well.