Were you extra confident? Focused on life? Was the time that’s now devoted to him once devoted to hobbies? How about your health? Did you allow a well-maintained diet to suddenly be side tracked by meals out with your beau?
It’s easy to allow the excitement of a new relationship to take over our life and let everything else fall apart. However this easily becomes a habit that is neither beneficial to you or your relationship. While you may find yourself in the throes of the honeymoon phase, it won’t take long for the outcome of neglecting other priorities to start to surface.
Your boss may notice a lack of enthusiasm, your friends may feel you distancing yourself, and those jeans may start getting a bit too tight. Now in case you’re thinking that all of that is worth it to experience love to the fullest, think twice. While love is one of the greatest things life has to offer, are you really being fair to your significant other? After all, when you met him you were a stronger, more confident you.
Falling into the relationship comfort zone might leave him longing for the woman he once knew. Here are some tips to getting back to the original you, while maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.
Find Your Plan
Emphasis on the word YOUR. Remember when you knew what you wanted in life? Or were at least on your way to discovering it? When we get into a relationship “my plan” quickly becomes “our plan” and while creating a life together is a wonderful adventure, you can lose a bit of yourself in the transition.
Look back at your plans and really ask yourself “what goals have I given up on?” and begin to take the steps to get back on track. Set deadlines for yourself. Men love an independent woman and knowing what you want and going after it will definitely rekindle the fire in your man.
Get a Hobby
What’s the one thing that would break your heart if you could never do it again? What’s some thing you used to do that made you feel alive? It’s time to pick that up again. Whether it’s painting, cooking, or simply exploring, it’s important to have that passion in your life. After all, hobbies are just a piece of the puzzle that make us who we are. If you didn’t have a hobby before it’s time to get one.
Check out sites like Groupon or LivingSocial to try out new experiences at an affordable price. Who knows, you may be an avid trapeze artist at heart. There’s only one way to find out. Once you’ve gotten really good at your hobby, try your hand at it as a couple. Seeing you in action at what you do best will be sure to impress him, and the experience will give him more insight to who you are on the inside.
Have a “Me Day”
Whether or not we admit it, we all need a “me” day, an entire day to yourself once a week where you turn off the cell phone, log off Facebook, and enjoy your own company. Go for a long drive, catch up on some reading, make yourself a nice dinner, or enjoy a hot bath.
Make sure that whatever you do is as low stress as possible. Having this time to mellow out has a three pronged effect; You won’t be on edge as much which will cause you to be more patient with loved ones, you’ll feel less hectic, and knowing you can enjoy your own company will eliminate any neediness that may occur when your man isn’t available. Quickly your vibe will become more “I want you” and less “I need you.” Men find that very attractive.
Don’t Diss the Girls
Chances are you’ve seen the ladies less since finding Mr. Right. Really try to keep this from happening. Remember who it was that had your back when all of the other Mr. Rights turned out to be Mr. Sucks. Always be sure to make time for the girls. Never forget their birthdays, or special events and make it a point to have ladies’ night at least twice a month. Catching up on Grey’s Anatomy together or even having a monthly poker night will offer some very therapeutic benefits.
Also make sure that “girl time” doesn’t become “let me tell you how great my boyfriend is” time. Whether they agree with your taste in men or not, chances are that’s not why you became friends. Ask them questions about their lives and listen. Offer advice and support when it’s needed and actually value your time with these lovely ladies. Be thankful that you have so many wonderful people in your life.
Not taking girl time for granted will also benefit your relationship. By knowing that you go out and enjoy your time out with your friends, he’ll feel more comfortable doing the same with his. This will help protect the relationship from any feelings of guilt or judgment.
Take Care of Yourself
We live in a society where how we look effects how we feel about ourselves. Our efforts to look good are mainly based on the idea of finding a partner, and once we’ve found one, those efforts quickly diminish. Take the time to evaluate yourself.
You don’t need to go on some extreme diet and lose 20 lbs, but make sure you’re as healthy and strong as YOU want to be. Are you happy with your look? When was the last time you treated yourself to a mani/pedi or a new outfit? Or maybe try out that new haircut you’ve been considering for a while. Few feelings compare to leaving a hair salon with an amazing look that you love.
What ever you do make sure you’re doing it for you. Loving yourself means respecting yourself enough to take care of yourself, and presenting a look that matches how you feel on the inside to the world. He’ll respect your dedication to looking and feeling good.
Bring Back Date Night
Remember the good old days? The days when he used to pick you up for a romantic evening on the town, and surprises and romance were still a regular occurrence. Then somewhere down the line that was all replaced by take out food and CSI re-runs? Honey, you’re just as worth the effort now as you were then.
While it’s wonderful to feel comfortable enough with someone to be able to enjoy quiet evenings in, getting all dolled up and flirting all night with each other is still great as well. Come up with fun ideas that both of you would enjoy. Dedicate one night every week as a non-negotiable date night. This way you know despite how busy your two schedules are you’ll always make the time to do something special.
Try these simple steps the next time you’re feeling “not so you” and you, and your relationship, will feel revitalized in no time!