Introducing Your Boyfriend to Your Parents
Keep in mind, not every guy views meeting the parents as a step into a serious relationship. Also keep in mind, some men believe that meeting the parents is a red flag that they’re about to be dragged down the altar. So how does a girl handle such a delicate situation? Fear not, YouQueen is here to help. Don’t we always have your back girl?
First stop and really consider what this introduction means to you.
Don’t make this meeting happen because you feel you’ve been dating long enough, or because either your boyfriend, or your parents, or both are pressuring you into it. After all this is your relationship too and even if they hit it off well none of it will matter unless the relationship is moving at a pace that you’re BOTH comfortable with.
Your relationship with your family is going to be a major factor on your decision making process at this point. For example, if you live near your family, and see your parents and siblings is a frequent occurrence in your day to day life then the introduction won’t be as big of a deal.
Personally you’re going to want to be able to spend time with your boyfriend while still maintaining the kind of relationship you’ve grown used to with your family, and sometimes making that introduction early will save you from having to choose plans between the two.
Also this will let you know if you’re wasting your time with this guy early on. If your family is an important, frequent, and non negotiable factor in your life and your man isn’t comfortable with it it’s better that you know now than later.
Also, if the metting is not a big deal in your own mind, and doesn’t carry much weight then make sure you let him know in advance. This way he doesn’t start thinking it means more than it does, and begins to get freaked out with the road runner pace of the relationship.
If your family lives out of town or even out of state, and visits are reserved for Holidays and special occasions then this introduction will be a pretty important one. If the meeting requires both of you traveling out of town together then make sure this isn’t your first time doing so.
Not every couple does well with traveling together, often times the stress of it can lead to some pretty major arguments.
If you have yet to find out how you and your man behave in such a situation, now is not the time to test it out. You want to make a good first impression as a couple, and fighting in your parents’ home or around them will definitely do the opposite. Not to mention once that first impression is made it’s hard to undo, something you may want to consider for the future of the relationship.
Have you mentioned this guy before?
Hopefully, if not the day before a visit or introduction probably won’t give the family enough time to process and give a fair chance to your guy. Let them know when you’re comfortable that you’ve started seeing someone. Then casually name drop him into conversations from time to time, maybe even have him say hello on the phone or facetime first. This way by the time they meet your family will already be comfortable with the idea that this man seems to be a stable part of your life, and you can take it from there.
Is this someone you can genuinely see a future with?
Keep in mind, you want your family to take this guy seriously. So if he’s just one in a parade of boyfriends your family has gotten used to and expects will disappear two months later, you can’t really blame them for brushing him off. Unless the situation is as we previously stated, where an early introduction makes sense, take some time before bringing the beau home. Let’s say that the “L” word should have at least been dropped first.
Make sure you mean as much to him as he means to you. Put down the rose colored glasses and stop and analyze the situation. Is he on the same page as you in this relationship or are you ten steps ahead.
Are you making this introduction because you believe it will lead to the same introduction?
If so, stop right now girl, because you are not ready. If he did not suggest meeting your family in the first place, or has yet to mention any plans of bringing you home to meet his own family then we seriously suggest you take a moment to reevaluate your relationship because you are not moving at the same pace. Take note of who you’ve met so far on his side.
Maybe you haven’t met the parents yet but have you met any family at all? Friends? Coworkers? When you bump into someone he knows how long does it take him to make the introduction, and exactly how does he introduce you? Are you his girlfriend or does he just say your name? These are all seriously important questions to ask yourself before you bring him home to the parents. Remember, just because he said yes doesn’t mean he’s ready.
He may have said it out of being polite or simply not wanting to hurt your feelings. It’s okay if he’s not ready yet, everyone processes these kinds of things at their own pace. However, if you rush him that can easily lead to feelings of resentment, and can do more damage to the relationship than good.
Don’t let this meeting be the end all and be all of your relationship.
Unless you’re 14, who you’re dating should no longer be up to your parents. You’re a grown woman now, show some back bone and make your own decisions in life. This introduction isn’t to determine whether or not they will like him enough for you to stay with him. You found each other, you’re happy together, you’ve made it this far, and really that’s all that matters.
So let this meeting be more of a declaration to yourself and your significant other that he is being placed into all aspects of your life. Make sure he feels at ease, give him a bit of background information so that he doesn’t feel like such a stranger, and above all let the poor guy know that this is NOT a job interview. This does not have to be a scene from a Ben Stiller movie.
It may seem like a lot to think of before taking that step, but you want to do what’s best for your relationship. All in all the meeting will go however it’s meant to go so don’t let yourself stress out over it too much, and as always the best of luck from us here at YouQueen. Feel free to share in the comment section below how the meeting went, and any little fun or interesting experiences from having previous boyfriends “meet the parents.”