How to Surround Yourself with Good People. Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who genuinely care.
People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need.
“Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.” – Karl Marx
How to Surround Yourself with Good People
So Karl Marx had it all figured out, because after all, what person in their right mind would choose to be surrounded by people who make them unhappy over being surrounded by people who make them happy? Only in most cases, picking the right people to surround yourself with isn’t as simple as it may initially seem – but then again what person in their right mind would settle for unhappiness just because the path towards happiness isn’t as straight forward as it’s often depicted to be?
Surrounding ourselves with the right people isn’t always as simple as we’d like it to be. In fact, just the idea of having to identify the wrong people and steering clear from them may seem pretty daunting, let alone having to actually recognize the good people and immersing yourself in them. Yet, once you get the hang of it, you will start filtering the wrong people out and attracting the right people naturally.
Do some spring cleaning
You can look at this the same way you’d look at the process of cleaning out your wardrobe. Sometimes you just have to go through it and throw out that skirt that no longer fits you, that shirt that no longer suits you and that pair of shoes you can no longer walk in. Just like it doesn’t make any sense to try to fit into a dress that no longer fits you just because it once did, it doesn’t make any sense to keep hanging around people you once felt comfortable around but no longer do. Appreciate the fact that you have great memories with some people, but also acknowledge and accept that fact that people (including yourself) change, and it’s more than okay to let go.
Now, if the people you feel the need to get rid of make up only a small percentage of the people in your life, it may be fairly easy. But what happens when you realize that if you get rid of all the wrong people in your life you may very well be getting rid of the majority? Surely, cutting off most people in your life, as bad as they may be, is not a good idea?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d pick quality over quantity any time. Back to the wardrobe scenario: how ridiculous would it be to keep a wardrobe full of clothes that you keep wearing even though they just make you feel self-conscious, depressed, unconfident and uncomfortable?
We all know what it feels like to have to look at pieces of clothing which are a couple of sizes too small but which you keep anyway, in hope that you will someday lose weight and fit into eventually – but of course you never do. I’d rather have a handful of outfits which make me feel happy, confident and comfortable the way I am right now than a wardrobe full of clutter. And anyway, where are you going to put all the good pieces of clothing if you do not make space for them by throwing out the bad ones?
Create a filter
Now once you get rid of all the wrong people, the last thing you want is more wrong people to come back into your life, which is why creating a filter is an important step. Stop and think about what the wrong people around you tended to be like. Did they have a tendency to constantly make you feel like you weren’t good enough the way you were? Was their attitude making you feel depressed? Was their company making you feel emotionally drained? Were they making you feel mentally exhausted? One good thing about having been in this kind of people’s company is that thanks to your familiarity with them, you will be able to detect them more easily when you come across similar people in the future.
Doing this may appear to be a bit harsh, but there is no need to feel guilty about it. In wardrobe terms; let’s say you’ve worn blue enough times to finally realize why and understand how it doesn’t suit you, thus leading you to avoid wearing it in the future because you know better from experience. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with the color blue, it just isn’t for you.
Attract the right people
It’s good to have a filter that will make it easier for you to keep the wrong people out of your life. But if you keep attracting the wrong people, your filter will just get clogged and you still won’t have gained any people you actually want to be in your life. The good news is that attracting the right people is really simple. In fact it is so simple, that at first glance it may even seem slightly silly.
All you have to do to attract the right people is to merely be yourself. Yes, that’s it.
Stop pretending to look interested in what someone has to say when you’re really not. Don’t force yourself to accept an invitation to have coffee with someone who bores you to death out of sheer politeness. Stop dressing a certain way to blend in with a certain group of people, whilst dressing another way to blend in with a different group of people. Say what you feel like saying, behave how you feel like behaving, and feel what you feel like feeling.
By doing so, you will be displaying your real self openly and clearly for everyone to see. It’s basically a bit like saying ‘No nonsense here, what you see is what you get, take it or leave it.’ People who like what they see and know what they want will approach you because they are attracted by the real you. You won’t have an image to live up to, an impression to make or an appearance to preserve.
Retain the right people, recycle the wrong ones
Now back to the wardrobe example; once you’ve managed to reorganize it, you’re going to want to maintain it. Take good care of the garments that make you feel good, and do not hesitate to give away or throw away whatever doesn’t fit anymore, even though you may maybe only just have bought it.
Appreciate, be grateful and thankful for the good people in your life and don’t be scared to let go of the people who just don’t work for you. Remember that this isn’t a one-time task; this is something that you ought to be constantly re-evaluating. Just like fashion changes along with the seasons, so do people. And you definitely shouldn’t feel selfish or ungrateful for deciding which people you want in your life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with deciding who you want to be around. Just because some people may be wrong for you doesn’t mean they’re bad people. The so called ‘wrong’ people may very well be awesome individuals, but just not right for you.
Jim Rohn said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Have you ever noticed how the more time you spend with someone, the more like them you become?
Be it the way that you talk, the hand gestures that you make, your reaction towards certain situations, or merely the way you hold your fork; you probably got that off someone else. This usually happens unintentionally, so there’s probably no use in trying to avoid it – which makes being surrounded by the right people all the more important.(youqueen.com)
